For this final, please apply the Johari Window model to identify and understand the level of self- disclosure in relationships. Additionally, you are asked to use the format described from Enhance Activity with MindTap Ch 3: Models of Self-Disclosure, to draw two Johari Windows representing the relationship between you and one other person. Remember to reverse one of the windows so that your open area and that of the other person face each other.
Then answer the following questions:
1.
Describe which parts of yourself you keep in the hidden area. Explain your reasons for doing so. Describe the advantages or disadvantages or both of not disclosing these parts of yourself.
(1 page minimum)
2. Look at the blind area of your model. Is this area large or small because of the amount of feedback (much or little) that you get from your partner or because of your willingness to receive the feedback that is offered?
(1 page minimum)
3. Explain whether you are satisfied with the results illustrated by your answers. If you are not satisfied, explain what you can do to remedy the problem.
(1 page minimum)
4. Through building your Johari Window, what did you discover about your relationship? What, if any, surprises did you discover in your open, hidden, blind or unknown areas?
(1 page minimum)
5. Based on these results, how much will your relationship change?
6. Will you disclose more information or less information? Explain why. How will you handle your blind area? The unknown?
(1 page minimum)
Draw your conclusions.
You are to complete this assignment in a minimum of 7 pages. The title and reference page do not count towards the page count.
Attachments
Readings
Artificial (un)Intelligence and Communication
(in)Competence 23
Virtually Separated 40
Social Networking, Survival, and Healing 46
Alone Together 49
Talking with Little Girls 73
What I Instagrammed versus What Was Really
Happening, Or, My Entire Life Is a Lie 83
At Facebook, Creating Empathy 127
Introverts: Thoughtful, Not Shy 142
Critic’s Math 166
Finding the Words to Talk About Disability 187
Language and Heritage 207
The Eyes Have It 228
The Way You Talk Can Hurt You? 232
Texting to Save Lives 258
How to Help . . . and Not Help 268
Relfies: Good for You and Your Relationships 298
When Friends Get in the Way 336
How to Fall in Love 341
Learning the Languages of Love 345
An Unlikely Friendship 356
Software Tackles Roommate Conflicts 394
On the Job
Communication and Career Success 8
Making Mediated Meetings Productive 35
Managing Your Professional Identity 84
Sexual Harassment and Perception 122
Emotion Labor in the Workplace 150
Swearing in the Workplace 191
Nonverbal Communication in Job Interviews 227
Listening in the Workplace 246
How to Repair a Damaged Professional Relationship
306
Romance in the Workplace 322
Intellectual Humility at Google 364
Picking Your Workplace Battles 390
Pause and Reflect
How Personal Are Your Facebook Relationships? 15
How Do You Use Social Media? 58
Your Self-Esteem 64
“Ego Boosters” and “Ego Busters” 68
Your Many Identities 79
Managing Your Professional Identity 85
Building a Johari Window 88
Your Perceptual Schema 107
Role Reversal 119
Recognizing Your Emotions 145
Talking to Yourself 164
How Irrational Are You? 169
Your Linguistic Rules 186
Conjugating “Irregular Verbs” 194
Exploring Gender Differences in Communication 202
Body Language 221
The Rules of Touch 234
Distance Makes a Difference 238
Listening Breakdowns 251
Speaking and Listening with a “Talking Stick” 256
When Advising Does and Doesn’t Work 271
What Would You Say? 272
Your Relational Stage 290
Your Dialectical Tensions 296
Maintaining Your Relationships 305
Your Relational Transgressions 308
Your IQ (Intimacy Quotient) 319
Your Family’s Communication Patterns 329
Gender and Friendship 334
Relational Turning Points 343
Evaluating Communication Climates 359
Understanding Conflict Styles 399
Your Conflict Rituals 401
Skill Builders
Stages in Learning Communication Skills 24
Check Your Competence 26
Appropriate Self-Disclosure 94
Punctuation Practice 110
quick reference guide
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Editorial review has deemed that any suppressed content does not materially affect the overall learning experience. Cengage Learning reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
Perception Checking Practice 126
Pillow Talk 135
Feelings and Phrases 156
Rational Thinking 174
Down-to-Earth Language 183
Practicing “I” Language 197
Paraphrasing Practice 265
Behaviors and Interpretations 367
Name the Feeling 368
Putting Your Message Together 371
Coping with Criticism 377
Looking at Diversity
Igor Ristic: Competent Communication around the
World 27
Kevin Schomaker: Forging Relationships with Social
Media 43
Lexie Lopez-Mayo: Culture, Gender, and Self-
Disclosure 87
Christa Kilvington: Socioeconomic Stereotyping 115
Todd Epaloose: A Native American Perspective on
Emotional Expression 148
Pilar Bernal de Pheils: Speaking the Patient’s
Language 204
Annie Donnellon: Blindness and Nonverbal Cues 230
Austin Lee: Culture and Listening Responses 250
Rakhi Singh and Rajesh Punn: A Modern Arranged
Marriage 284
Scott Johnson: Multicultural Families and
Communication Challenges 327
Abdel Jalil Elayyadi: Promoting Understanding 365
James Corney: Searching for Accord in Troubled
Times 405
In Real Life
Appropriate and Inappropriate Self-Disclosure 92
Perception Checking in Everyday Life 125
The Pillow Method in Action 134
Guidelines for Emotional Expression 160
Rational Thinking in Action 172
“I” and “You” Language on the Job 198
Recognizing Nonverbal Cues 240
Paraphrasing on the Job 262
The Assertive Message Format 370
Responding Nondefensively to Criticism 378
Win–Win Problem Solving 412
Ethical Challenges
Martin Buber’s I and Thou 14
The Ethics of Online Anonymity 55
Must We Always Tell the Truth? 98
Empathy and the Golden Rule 132
Aristotle’s Golden Mean 157
Unconditional Positive Regard 274
Nonviolence: A Legacy of Principled Effectiveness 376
Dirty Fighting with Crazymakers 393
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Editorial review has deemed that any suppressed content does not materially affect the overall learning experience. Cengage Learning reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
Looking out
Looking in
FiFteenth edition
Ronald B. Adler Russell F. Proctor II
Santa Barbara City College Northern Kentucky University
Australia • Brazil • Mexico • Singapore • United Kingdom • United States
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© 2017, 2014, 2011 Cengage Learning
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ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No part of this work covered by the copyright
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Looking Out Looking In: Fifteenth Edition
Ronald B. Adler, Russell F. Proctor II
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To
Neil Towne
whose legacy continues in these pages.
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Chapter 1 A First Look at Interpersonal Communication 3
PaRT I Looking In
Chapter 2 Interpersonal Communication and Social Media 33
Chapter 3 Communication and Identity: Creating and Presenting the
Self 61
Chapter 4 Perception : What You See Is What You Get 103
Chapter 5 Emotions: Feeling, Thinking, and Communicating 139
PaRT II Looking Out
Chapter 6 Language: Barrier and Bridge 177
Chapter 7 Nonverbal Communication: Messages beyond Words 211
Chapter 8 Listening: More Than Meets the Ear 243
PaRT III Looking at Relational Dynamics
Chapter 9 Communication and Relational Dynamics 277
Chapter 10 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships 311
Chapter 11 Improving Communication Climates 345
Chapter 12 Managing Interpersonal Conflicts 379
brief contents
iii
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Preface x
About the Authors 1
1
A FIRST LOOK AT INTERPERSONAL
COMMUNICATION 3
Why We Communicate 5
Physical Needs 5
Identity Needs 6
Social Needs 6
Practical Goals 7
The Process of Communication 8
A Linear View 9
A Transactional View 10
Interpersonal and Impersonal Communication 13
Communication Principles and Misconceptions 16
Communication Principles 16
Communication Misconceptions 18
What Makes an Effective Communicator? 19
Communication Competence Defined 20
Characteristics of Competent Communicators 21
Competence in Intercultural Communication 26
Summary 30
Key Terms 31
Part I Looking In
2
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION AND
SOCIAL MEDIA 33
Mediated versus Face-to-Face Communication 34
Similarities between Mediated and Face-to-Face Communication 35
Differences between Mediated and Face-to-Face Communication 36
Consequences of Mediated Communication 38
Benefits and Drawbacks of Mediated Communication 41
Benefits of Mediated Communication 41
Drawbacks of Mediated Communication 45
Influences on Mediated Communication 51
Gender 51
Age 53
Competence in Social Media 54
Fostering Positive Relationships 54
Protecting Yourself 55
Summary 59
Key Terms 59
contents
iv
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3
COMMUNICATION AND IDENTITY: CREATING AND PRESENTING THE SELF 61
Communication and the Self 62
Self-Concept and Self-Esteem 62
Biological and Social Roots of the Self 64
Characteristics of the Self-Concept 68
Culture, Gender, and Identity 71
The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy and Communication 74
Presenting the Self: Communication as Impression Management 76
Public and Private Selves 77
Characteristics of Impression Management 77
Why Manage Impressions? 80
Face-to-Face Impression Management 81
Online Impression Management 82
Impression Management and Honesty 84
Self-Disclosure in Relationships 85
Models of Self-Disclosure 86
Benefits and Risks of Self-Disclosure 89
Guidelines for Self-Disclosure 91
Alternatives to Self-Disclosure 94
Silence 95
Lying 95
Equivocating 96
Hinting 98
The Ethics of Evasion 99
Summary 100
Key Terms 101
4
PERCEPTION: WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET 103
The Perception Process 105
Selection 105
Organization 106
Interpretation 109
Negotiation 111
Influences on Perception 112
Access to Information 113
Physiological Influences 113
Cultural Differences 115
Social Roles 117
Common Tendencies in Perception 120
We Judge Ourselves More Charitably Than We Judge Others 120
We Cling to First Impressions 120
We Assume That Others Are Similar to Us 121
We Are Influenced by Our Expectations 122
We Are Influenced by the Obvious 123
Perception Checking 123
Elements of Perception Checking 123
Perception-Checking Considerations 124
Empathy, Cognitive Complexity, and Communication 126
Empathy 128
Cognitive Complexity 129
Summary 136
Key Terms 137
CONTENTS v
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5
EMOTIONS: FEELING, THINKING, AND COMMUNICATING 139
What Are Emotions? 140
Physiological Factors 141
Nonverbal Reactions 141
Cognitive Interpretations 143
Verbal Expression 144
Influences on Emotional Expression 145
Personality 145
Culture 146
Gender 147
Social Conventions 148
Social Media 149
Emotional Contagion 150
Guidelines for Expressing Emotions 151
Recognize Your Feelings 152
Recognize the Difference between Feeling, Talking, and Acting 153
Expand Your Emotional Vocabulary 153
Share Multiple Feelings 155
Consider When and Where to Express Your Feelings 155
Accept Responsibility for Your Feelings 157
Be Mindful of the Communication Channel 158
Managing Emotions 158
Facilitative and Debilitative Emotions 158
Sources of Debilitative Emotions 159
Irrational Thinking and Debilitative Emotions 164
Minimizing Debilitative Emotions 169
Maximizing Facilitative Emotions 173
Summary 175
Key Terms 175
PaRT II Looking Out
6
LANGUAGE: BARRIER AND BRIDGE 177
Language Is Symbolic 179
Understandings and Misunderstandings 180
Understanding Words: Semantic Rules 180
Understanding Structure: Syntactic Rules 183
Understanding Context: Pragmatic Rules 184
The Impact of Language 185
Naming and Identity 186
Affiliation 188
Power and Politeness 189
Disruptive Language 191
The Language of Responsibility 193
Gender and Language 198
Content 198
Reasons for Communicating 200
Conversational Style 200
Nongender Variables 201
vi CONTENTS
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Culture and Language 203
Verbal Communication Styles 203
Language and Worldview 206
Summary 209
Key Terms 209
7
NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION: MESSAGES BEYOND WORDS 211
Characteristics of Nonverbal Communication 212
Nonverbal Communication Defined 212
Nonverbal Skills Are Vital 213
All Behavior Has Communicative Value 213
Nonverbal Communication Is Primarily Relational 214
Nonverbal Communication Occurs in Mediated Messages 215
Nonverbal Communication Serves Many Functions 216
Nonverbal Communication Offers Deception Clues 218
Nonverbal Communication Is Ambiguous 220
Influences on Nonverbal Communication 222
Gender 222
Culture 222
Types of Nonverbal Communication 225
Body Movement 225
Voice 230
Touch 233
Appearance 235
Physical Space 236
Physical Environment 238
Time 239
Summary 241
Key Terms 241
8
LISTENING: MORE THAN MEETS THE EAR 243
Listening Defined 245
Hearing versus Listening 245
Mindless Listening 246
Mindful Listening 247
Elements in the Listening Process 247
Hearing 247
Attending 248
Understanding 249
Responding 249
Remembering 249
The Challenge of Listening 251
Types of Ineffective Listening 251
Why We Don’t Listen Better 253
Meeting the Challenge of Listening 255
Types of Listening Responses 257
Prompting 257
Questioning 259
Paraphrasing 261
Supporting 264
Analyzing 269
CONTENTS vii
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Advising 269
Judging 270
Choosing the Best Listening Response 273
Summary 275
Key Terms 275
Part III Looking at Relational Dynamics
9
COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS 277
Why We Form Relationships 278
Appearance 278
Similarity 279
Complementarity 280
Reciprocal Attraction 281
Competence 281
Disclosure 281
Proximity 282
Rewards 282
Models of Relational Dynamics 283
A Developmental Perspective 283
A Dialectical Perspective 291
Characteristics of Relationships 296
Relationships Are Constantly Changing 296
Relationships Are Affected by Culture 297
Communicating about Relationships 297
Content and Relational Messages 299
Types of Relational Messages 300
Metacommunication 302
Maintaining Interpersonal Relationships 302
Social Support 303
Repairing Damaged Relationships 304
Summary 309
Key Terms 309
10
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION IN CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS 311
Intimacy in Close Relationships 312
Dimensions of Intimacy 312
Masculine and Feminine Intimacy Styles 313
Cultural Influences on Intimacy 316
Intimacy in Mediated Communication 317
The Limits of Intimacy 317
Communication in Families 319
Characteristics of Family Communication 319
Families as Systems 321
Communication Patterns within Families 322
Social Media and Family Communication 325
Communication in Friendships 326
Types of Friendships 326
Sex, Gender, and Friendship 328
Social Media and Friendship 331
viii CONTENTS
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Communication in Romantic Relationships 333
Characteristics of Romantic Relationships 333
Romantic Turning Points 336
Couples’ Conflict Styles 338
Languages of Love 338
Social Media and Romantic Relationships 340
Summary 343
Key Terms 343
11
IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES 345
Communication Climate and Confirming Messages 346
Levels of Message Confirmation 347
How Communication Climates Develop 351
Defensiveness: Causes and Remedies 355
Face-Threatening Acts 355
Preventing Defensiveness in Others 356
Saving Face 362
The Assertive Message Format 362
Responding Nondefensively to Criticism 367
Summary 377
Key Terms 377
12
MANAGING INTERPERSONAL CONFLICTS 379
The Nature of Conflict 380
Conflict Defined 380
Conflict Is Natural 382
Conflict Can Be Beneficial 382
Conflict Styles 383
Avoiding (Lose–Lose) 384
Accommodating (Lose–Win) 385
Competing (Win–Lose) 386
Compromising (Partial Lose–Lose) 388
Collaborating (Win–Win) 391
Which Style to Use? 392
Conflict in Relational Systems 393
Complementary, Symmetrical, and Parallel Styles 393
Destructive Conflict Patterns: The Four Horsemen 395
Conflict Rituals 396
Variables in Conflict Styles 398
Gender 398
Culture 399
Constructive Conflict Skills 402
Collaborative Problem Solving 403
Constructive Conflict: Questions and Answers 406
Summary 410
Key Terms 411
Endnotes 412
Feature Box Notes 444
Glossary 448
Name Index 454
Subject Index 456
CONTENTS ix
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preface
Listening is arguably the most important communication skill of them all. That’s certainly been true as we developed this new edition of Looking Out Looking In. Listening to our users has
helped us refine the book you’re holding, so it will address the concerns of both professors and
students.
Before we began work on this 15th edition, we asked current and prospective users what
we could do to best meet their needs. They told us they want an introduction to interpersonal
communication that’s clear, engaging, and concise. They said their text must reflect the way
communication operates in today’s world. And it has to be priced fairly.
You spoke, we listened, and you are now seeing the results.
New to This Edition
Users of Looking Out Looking In will find that the new edition has been improved in several ways
while remaining true to the approach that has served more than one million students over four
decades.
• More Affordable Price
We applaud Cengage Learning for making Looking Out Looking In more affordable to make
it more accessible for students, especially at a time when budgets are tight and the costs of
higher education are rising.
• Extensive Coverage of Social Media
The new Chapter 2 is entirely devoted to the role of mediated communication in interpersonal
relationships. Topics include differences between mediated and face-to-face communication,
the benefits and costs of social media, how gender and age influence the uses of mediated
communication, and how to use social media competently to achieve personal and relational goals.
In addition to Chapter 2, new coverage of social media is integrated throughout the
book. Topics include online impression management (Chapter 3), the impact of social media
on emotion perception and expression (Chapter 5), nonverbal communication in mediated
messages (Chapter 6), giving and receiving support online (Chapter 8), how social media
shapes the rise and fall of close relationships (Chapter 9), and the role of social media in
communication in families, friendships, and romantic relationships (Chapter 10).
• New Examples from Popular Culture
This edition is loaded with illustrations—now integrated into every chapter—of how
communication operates in a variety of relationships. Television profiles include comedies
like Louie and Blackish and dramas such as Scandal and House of Cards. Many other profiles
come from popular films including Boyhood, Dear White People, The Imitation Game, and The
Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby. Captioned photos of figures from the news also highlight
how communication principles operate in today’s world.
• New Magazine-Style Readings
Compelling readings have always distinguished Looking Out Looking In. This edition features
a new lineup that shows how principles in the text operate in a wide range of settings and
relationships. New readings explore whether software can communicate competently, how
to juggle commitments with friends and romantic partners, how loneliness can be pervasive
in a hyperconnected world, instagramming to project an idealized identity, saving lives by
texting support, and how posting photos online can strengthen close relationships. Now, each
reading is followed by a series of “Reflect” questions that help readers connect the material
to their everyday lives.
• Research Updates
To reflect the latest communication scholarship, new research is cited throughout the
book. Among the updated and expanded topics addressed are the expression of positive
emotions (Chapter 5), striking a balance between power and politeness (Chapter 6), giving
and receiving social support (Chapter 7), and the communication of love, commitment, and
affection in romantic relationships (Chapter 10).
x
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Editorial review has deemed that any suppressed content does not materially affect the overall learning experience. Cengage Learning reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
Interactive Learning with MindTap
MindTap for Looking Out Looking In is a fully online, highly personalized learning experience
built upon Looking Out Looking In. MindTap combines student learning tools—readings,
multimedia, activities, and assessments—into a singular Learning Path that guides students
through the course. Instructors personalize the experience by easily customizing the existing
content and learning tools with their own materials. The result: An easy-to-use learning system
that is exactly right for your own unique situation.
• Learning Path. The MindTap experience begins with a chapter- specific Learning Path built
around key student objectives. This intuitive navigator guides students to master the subject
matter and provides immediate access to the resources they need along the way. MindTap
delivers a suggested Learning Path right “out of the box,” ready for you to personalize your
course. You control what students see and when they see it. Use it as-is or match to your syl-
labus exactly—hide, rearrange, add, and create your own content. Customize your Learning
Path by:
• changing due dates
• reordering content
• renaming course sections
• moving or hiding chapters you don’t use
• removing unneeded activities
• engaging students by inserting campus- or course-specific resources, like handbooks,
school catalogs, and web links, your favorite videos, activities, current events materials, or
any resource you can upload to the Internet
Students see “Counts for a grade” flags to alert them to assignments due and personalized
resources you add appear inline for a seamless experience that keeps students focused while they
are in your course.
• MindTap Reader. The MindTap Reader is more than a digital version of a textbook. It is an
interactive, learning resource built to create a digital reading experience based on how stu-
dents assimilate information in an online environment. Videos and activities bring the book
concepts to life. The robust functionality of the MindTap Reader allows learners to make
notes, highlight text, and even find a definition right from the page. After completing the
reading, students can review vocabulary with the flashcards and check their comprehension
with chapter quizzes.
• MindApps. This suite of learning tools gives instructors the ability to manage and custom-
ize their course and students the tools they need to prepare for a course or exam—all from a
single platform. Examples of apps include:
• ReadSpeaker®, an online text-to-speech application that vocalizes, or “speech-enables,”
the MindTap content
• Merriam-Webster MindApp, which allows students to look up a word simply by …
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